This is the very first one I got.
Trouble started right away:
My name was misspelled.
I got used to that all right.
(By the way, "zwem" means "swim")
The next one I can't even show you.
It's the HBS-b (high school) diploma.
I had to show this when I started studying at Nijmegen University, but they never gave it back to me.
No problem, as nobody else ever took the slightest interest in seeing it.
You probably won't, either.
It took me over forty years to get the next one.
Looks nice and funky by now. Better they'd paid me a decent salary.
Things were looking up! got this in the same breath...
Only honorably mentioned, but that's better than what John Lennon got there. (And they even spelled my name right)
From that dizzying height, my career could only go downhill.
They took no chances with the spelling
After a small move back up -
Right spelling, too! This was for servicing our Mutoh Intelligent Plotter
But I never worked for Digital Drafting... long and boring story
- I hit the bottom of the barrel
I never paid up, so it doesn't count; got this because I'd bought a box of BBs
I guess they count everyone they've sent a paper like that as a member and then go out and make a Big Noise in Congress